Mom Selfies

Pictures are EVERYWHERE!  Selfies are all around us!  We cannot escape them.  I have tried, for the most part, to keep selfies off of my list of everyday practices.  I will sometimes take one to shoot to my sister or husband as a joke, but as a general rule, I keep my camera busy taking photos of kids sleeping (because it doesn't happen often), sporting events, concerts, kids cleaned and dressed up (again, because it is rare), family gatherings, and for work some very messy and uninteresting construction sites.

This morning, as it was a VERY early morning after a VERY long night spent up with a baby who is not taking the flu vaccine lightly, I sat up skimming my way through Facebook.  I saw a variety of posts and links to articles about parenting and motherhood all giving advice about what instruments to learn to play for your six month old so that they will become musical prodigies or what conditioner to use on your toddler's hair so that their locks will flow like seas of gold down their backs (if you are lucky enough to actually have a toddler with hair, this might appeal to you.)  All of these posts were accompanied with pictures.  They were of beautiful models of mothers (which I am not) and children that I am still not convinced were not really perfectly molded cyborgs.

Needless to say, I was a little jealous of the beautiful and well-kept families that were in these pictures.  They looked nothing like my family or me in a perfectly posed picture, let alone on a day-to-day basis. In my sleepless state, my jealousy turned in to more of an anger.  I began to think about what frauds these authors were to have such pictures accompany their articles.  Who were these people to write on parenthood, messy lives and how to cope, if they were not willing to actually show what parents and children look like in REAL life?

Probably not so intelligently, I made the decision right then to post a REAL MOM SELFIE:

As you can see, it is not a photo that has been set to look like a tired mother with a few hairs out of place and some flour on her cheek.  It is not a gorgeous model in beautiful pajamas (that no real mother would wear) yawning and stretching to portray what the photographer thinks a sleepy mother would look like. It is a picture of sleep deprivation, late nights from remembering homework is due when you should be tucking a 10-year-old in, teaching a toddler to sleep in a new bed, holding a 6 month old as she endlessly nurses through the night because she just doesn't feel well.  It is an honest picture of dirty, smelly, sleepy, old me.

This is what motherhood really looks like.  It is not to say that there are not those beautiful, wonderful, carefree times you see in photos like a mother pushing her son on the swings, sweetly rocking your baby to sleep while listening to soft music in the background or lots of hugs and silly faces with your toddler.  But this is a part of motherhood that not too many people are willing to acknowledge exists and often times dominates.

If you have the guts, I encourage YOU to join me in showing what parenthood really looks like (I say parenthood because I know there are lots of dads out there who take on the primary care giver role and have it just as rough.)  Post a pic somewhere on social media of what the not so pretty (yet oh so worth it) side of parenthood looks like!  Also, if you see a fellow parent who is out in public (god forbid) looking like one of these photos, join me in making it a mission to offer a hand or a few words of encouragement.  (We are on a team here, not competing for some phony Mom of the Year award!)