Do I Smell Like Poop?

It's a funny question.  Yes, I am smiling as I sit here and type it.  Suddenly, though, a bit of a scowl has taken over as I realize that it is not funny and that I may, in fact, smell like poop.

I shower.  I promise.  I use the nice perfumey soaps, shampoos, conditioners, detanglers, shave gels and the works, each having their own enchanting aroma.  I exit the shower smelling like a stunning meadow of flower blossoms in the springtime.  I dry off with my fluffy towel that is laundered in the freshest of lavender scents and then lotion my body in creamy hints of cherries and almonds.  I put on clean clothing and even douse myself in a very generous portion of  Ralph Lauren Romance as I make my way out of the restroom to face my children, my husband and my day.

While I am at home, I don't give too much thought to it.  I am in my house and  I am used to living with random odors, noises and messes that seem to spontaneously spring up from the floor beneath.  My nose has become accustomed to the smells (yeah, that grosses me out a little bit as well).  It is not until I exit the home to load the car in preparation for the day and I smell fresh air that I suddenly begin to reflect on the odors of my home and quite possibly me.

Other parents out there, I hope, can identify with me on this one.  I sincerely pray that it is not just me with two under two that feels like my house has become a human manure factory.  More intensely and earnestly, I pray that I do not smell like I am working in one.  But, let's just call a spade a spade here... I AM working in one. I employ two little beasts who are working non-stop to make the Tucker People Poo Factory the most successful one of its kind.  The time that is spent in my dwelling place is filled with cleaning messes, making new messes and cleaning those up, sweating, being thrown up on, having food thrown at me, being peed on and yes... collecting teeny tiny people's poop.

Sometimes (the best times) the poop is collected in neat little packages we call diapers.  More times than I would like to admit, the poo was attempted to be collected in said package, but somehow the package has become defective and the goods are slightly in the package, but more so all over the babies, destroying their clothing, seeping out on to their chairs and toys and Yes... ON ME!!!  When these times happen, I am quick to rush for baths and new clothes, but as I sit in my office today... I begin to wonder... did I miss something???

Okay, after a trip to the restroom to check it out (like I have made on many other occasions when the concern has arisen) I  find that the coast is clear.  I simply smell of sweet perfume and possibly a little sweat accumulated during the intense moments of worry that have just occurred.  Please, moms and dads of little ones, if you are like me... do not fret.  The smell, almost 100% for sure is NOT you.  It is probably the after lunch effects someone in the office did not realize would send you in to such a tizzy or just your nose having flash backs to home sweet home. 

I encourage all of the other parental soldiers to join me in continuing on today with our heads held high, knowing (for today at least) that No, I do NOT smell like poop!!!