He Put What? In the What?

"Stop splashing and take your thumb out of your bottom!!!"  It is a sentence my baby sister cannot keep from reminding me has actually come out of my mouth.  She was little, maybe 9 or 10, when she stood in my home and heard me yell those very words at my son (who was 2 at the time).

He was in the bathtub and making a royal mess.  I heard the water splashing over the edges of the tub, which bothered me enough to warrant me walking over to see what exactly he was doing to cause such a mess.  That was when I saw it.  At first I thought he was just sitting on his hand, but OH NO, that was not what he was doing.  He had his teeny, tiny, perfectly-formed little thumb wedged ever so gently in his tooshy.  EW!  I was beyond mortified and so the words flew from my mouth before I had a chance to really consider them.

I was shocked after the sentence erupted from me (nowhere in life are you ever prepared to put those words together and have it sound appropriate).  I looked at my baby sister's face and we both began to laugh hysterically.  In this moment, I remembered something my very wise cousin (who is older and the mother of two boys) had told me about little boys when I found out the bundle of joy I was carrying was indeed going to be of the male species:  "Congratulations! A boy!  They will put ANYTHING in ANY hole at ANY time!"

You can't imagine it when you look at the adorableness that is my son in these pictures.  Can't imagine it unless you are the parent of a boy, I should say. You don't think that such an endearing little creature would be able to do something so gross, nor continue to do equally absurd things throughout his childhood, but it can, oh can it ever.

Little boys must just be equipped with some sort of ability or desire that their female counterparts don't come with, to find things and see if and how they fit into other things.  Often one or both of these things seem to be parts of their bodies. I assumed that it would fade with age, and I am still hoping that it does.  As for now, I am just finding that it is different things that get stuck different places. 

At two, it was his thumb in his bum. What is a little more concerning to me is that it was that very same thumb I would (and shhhhh... when he's tired sometimes I still do) find stuck in his mouth at nap time, bed time,  or really any time until the age of four or so.  At four, he began sticking his toys in my shoes.  I would find army men, Legos, cars and so many other items tucked away in my shoes.  Many toenails were damaged before I learned to check before shoving my foot into my boots or tennies. As he has gotten older, I have lost count of how many times I have yelled out "don't stick that in there!" just in the nick of time, heading off the impending doom that would have followed him completing the act.

Whether it is a pencil in his ear, or his toes in the DVD player, I know now to watch out for him and to be ready at any moment thanks to the wonderful words of advice from a very smart lady who has walked the path of mothering boys ahead of me (to give credit where it is due, she has walked this path very successfully and has two of the most impressive young men as sons I have ever had the pleasure of knowing). So moms of boys who are younger than mine and friends who are expecting boys sometime soon... I would like to remind you to be ready because  your little men will indeed "put ANYTHING, in ANY hole at ANY time!!!"